BOTH OF MY KIDS ARE MY EVERYTHING.

UGH………… Last week, the Center for Disease Control put out some new statistics on Autism. The numbers are REDICULOUS!!!!!!! They are reporting a spike in kids with Autism. The previous report showed 1 in every 110 kids had some form of Autism. NOW………….. The CDC is reporting 1 in every 88 kids has some form of Autism. 1 IN 88……….. How is this possible??????????? What is causing this?????????????? Is it that it has always been this way but now with training and better technology we are just more AWARE of it? Is there something really harming our kids?

Some claim it is the foods we are giving our kids. Some claim it is all about the immunizations. Some claim it is TV. Some claim it is all DNA related and it is in the blood. Some claim aliens are taking over our brains…. WHATEVER!!!!!!!

All I know is that this effects more kids AND adults than any other disease. And it’s not just Autism. ADHD, ADD, OCD….. Kids are growing up with these disorders and are being thrown into adulthood situations. Relationship problems with friends and family. Finding and keeping jobs. Staying focused on one thing, or in some cases trying NOT to stay focused on one thing. All of these “labels” affect the brain. Whatever is going on, we need to figure it out. The government needs to step in and stop wasting so much money on CRAP and start allocating money to research to find the cause for this. To find a method of treatment. To find a CURE if that is possible. Granted, it is not “life-threatening” like cancer and aids, but it is still a very serious issue and needs more attention that what it is being given.

February 10, 2012, Conor was diagnosed with being “at risk” of Autism. I have read and read and read on what that means. I listened to the TEAM of doctors who explained to be exactly what that meant. AUTISM WILL NOT DEFINE MY SON.

I tried for 5 years to have a baby, with 1 miscarriage, month after month of tears and lots of money wasted on pregnancy tests. Deciding to ATTEMPT invitro-fertilization was a physical risk in itself, but mentally it was an even bigger risk for me. What if it didn’t work? What if it worked and I ending up miscarrying again? What if I could NEVER have a baby? I was scared….. I was scared that if any of that had happened, what kind of mental state would that have put me in?

Ironically, it was exactly 3 years ago this week that I took the leap. April 1^, 2009 my eggs were removed and harvested with Jason’s sperm. April 6^, 2009 I found out that only a few of the eggs lived and had formed into embryos. That same morning, 3 of the 6 embryos were implanted. April 10, 2009 I got the call that only 1 of the 3 embryos had survived, and I was indeed pregnant. That little embryo that survived….. That little guy, who won the battle way back then and survived all that, is the same little guy who is 27 months old and who is fighting just to say his first words.  

Ever since Dr Gettleman said, “let’s get him in, get him tested, so we can just rule out Autism”….. I have been thinking about my pregnancy, and the prenatal testing that they asked if I wanted to do. Asked if I wanted to test for down syndrome and all that stuff. I was torn………. If it came back that there was a problem, did I want to raise a special needs kids? Did I want to live a life like that? Did I want to put my child through a life like that? IF there was a problem, would I be able to terminate the pregnancy? Something I WOULD HAVE NEVER CONSIDERED BEFORE, was then presenting itself as an option. I struggled with the decision to do the testing.

I remember being as big as a house, walking around Target’s baby department, trying to compose myself and not cry thinking about all the possibilities. I called my cousin Krissy and probably talked to her on the phone for a good hour while circling the baby section. I asked her about the tests. I asked her what she did, and she told me. I asked her how she felt, and she told me. She asked me how I felt about it, she asked me…. “would you love him any differently?” At the time, that was hard for me to answer….. I said “no” because I knew that’s what I would want to believe. But, honestly…. I had no clue how I was going to feel. When she asked me that question, I didn’t know what I know now. If I could go back and answer that question with 100% certainty, I would. My answer would be “NO, I WOULD NOT LOVE HIM ANY DIFFERENT.”

My son is going to be starting speech therapy and developmental therapy soon. According to the team of doctors and their tests, Conor is delayed in all 5 of the sensory areas that they tested him for. Speech being the main one. Conor is considered by a team of doctors and by the State of Arizona as a “Special Needs Kid”.

Conor with probably be “labeled” as “special needs” for the rest of his life by society. I refuse to label my kid with anything other than “SPECIAL” because that is what he is to me.

BOTH OF MY KIDS are “special” to me. BOTH OF MY KIDS ARE MY EVERYTHING. I will fight for BOTH of my kids till my last dying breath.

When they can’t fight for themselves, I will fight FOR them. When they CAN fight for themselves, I will fight right along side them.